May 27, 2007

1:00 A.M.

I couldn't sleep tonight so I thought I would go ahead and update the blog. Stacey will be leaving for MRC Tuesday Morning, this was alot sooner than when I was expecting, I thought I would at least have another week with her and tried to put it off for another week but they advised that they have a bed opening now and may not next week, so I went ahead and agreed. Monday our truck broke down so we didn't get Stacey to the rest of her days for Rehab. but that was ok, we had our neighbors next door help us and it only took him a day but he wasn't able to get to it until the weekend we was really blessed for him otherwise it would have cost us 400 or more but we gave him some to take care of some of his time and we greatly appreciate him. Just not sure what to say, I just am not ready for this, Stacey started smiling for me again tonight she was looking at the pictures on the wall and ask me who was the guy in the suit in the black picture, I took it down and showed her it, and told her that was Tony Webb you went with him to prom and she kept saying no it was Matt, but I went on asking her about her, I said see how beautiful you are and that smile, I wish I could see you smile like that again, I told her I miss her smiles, and I asked why don't you smile for me and she told me to get a camera and she would smile, which really blew me away, and luckily Garrett had his camera up here today so I started taking the picture and she keep turning away from me. She finally stopped and smiled and then I kept taking them until the batteries went dead, and then she kept asking me to keep taking pictures, I told her I couldn't I had no more batteries but I would get some tomorrow and we would take more and she said OK! I started crying it was another one of those moments. This last week she has been doing so much extra stuff, it just makes it alot harder for me to let go Tuesday. But I know they will do everything in there power to get threw her stubborn side and hopefully get her back on her feet. I will take her down Tuesday morning and try and get threw to them everything they need to know, they no longer have the dorms down there, that is were I stayed in before, I figured I could sleep in the truck and stay until Wednesday, but everyone has told me not to stay to go up there take of the business and turn around and come back home,, because if I stay Wednesday that I will not be able to leave, which I know there right, I just don't know if I can just leave that soon. It is really hard, but I am hoping and praying that this will work this time, and like I always ask please keep the prayers a going. For the person who left the comment last week thank you for your time to let me know your there and your prayers, I greatly appreciate the kind words sometimes it's really nice to hear that there is still someone out there. Thank You May God Bless You for the kind words and for your time and concern! And to everyone else Thank You also I know Stacey has many people who keep her in there prayers also, may God Bless you all and keep your family safe. I will keep up the blog I know not to many people read it anymore, but I like to write it for myself also, and not only me but for Stacey for later when she gets better she can read her progress. Thank You again and to all GOD BLESS! I put a picture up from the ones I took tonight.

May 18, 2007

11:00 P.M. Sorry this is a week late but just was not sure what to say, so many things this last week, it has been really hard. Not for sure were I left off last week, but we had our meeting and they had advised that Stacey needs more than what Ranken can offer with her behavior the way it is that she needs a facility that that can deal with all her so called behavior problems. Not sure what everyone expects they all say there are all set up for people with TBI but they really aren't we have only one facility here in Missouri that will take her, we even tried Illinois but they said we have enough of TBI units here in Missouri so they declined her. Stacey will be going back to MRC in Mount Vernon this is were she was before, I know this place will do all they can for her just like they did last time, I just will not be able to go, I will be lucky to get to see her once a month, I think that is what is really killing me the most, I don't want to let her go, but if I don't then she will not get the rehab she needs, I've tried and I can not find any facility that is out there that can continue with her and her rehab., I am really hoping they get her back on her feet and herself soon, but I know not to get my hopes up. They said as long as she continues to do what she is doing at Ranken that she will be able to stay until they get all her goals accomplished, but I don't know how long that will be. I have tried and begged everyone and there is no one closer, I just don't know if I can do this or not. But I keep telling myself that I can't be selfish I have to what is best for her, but I have been by her side pretty well all these nine months, the last six has been hard, but I wouldn't trade for the world, and I just don't know how strong I will be when she's gone, because she has been the one holding me together. But I will update again soon to let everyone know when she leaves. Please say extra prayers for me that this will be a easy transition for me, and this will be a successful trip for her this time. Thank you and God Bless.

May 6, 2007

1 p.m. Well this was another long week, and still not get much accomplished. We started off with Monday morning getting Stacey off on the transportation bus, yes they finally showed up, thinking everything was going great and waiting on her to come home I got a call from Raken telling me that EMT the transportation bus was not going to come and get her due to the problem they had with her that morning which was not reported to the Administrator that morning, well Stacey went and done a STRIP act for the bus driver taking pretty well everything off, he had to go in a he got a CNA that worked there and she helped Stacey but her closes on and they took her in and did not report it. So EMT said they would not provide transportation for her without an adult, so I made the call that I would start taking her back an forth because with EMT we never new if they were going to be around to pick her up, so this way I know she will get up there on time and home on time, this just hurt me because I was going to go back to work, but I am hoping I can start looking when I am up there and maybe get something part-time and in the hours she has, I hoping but it would be another miracle for that to happen. They did not do her fittings for her braces last week they was really afraid to use sedatives on her so they are going to wait until we can find a dentist that will put her out and then do the teeth and fittings at the same time which when that will be is a good question. We did get hold of a pedi physo, and we are going to up the meds on her Serquel to 200 mg a day I tried to tell her that we had problems with this before that that high of a dose made her unresponsive and we even had to take to the ER for it and she said well this time it was different because she has alot more activity going on now so I guess we will see I know that we give 100 mg at night and took away the sleeping pills and she has been sleeping at night so that was a good thing for us so I am really hoping it all goes good. So next week will be another long week Monday we will have the review with everyone to see what they think and how long they think she will need to go for. Plus we are also going to bring Mrs. Moloney back in on the Tuesday's and Thursdays even tho there is not much school time left they are going to work with her threw summer school to which will be up to June so she will be busy all week. Thanks to everyone that stopped by before their proms to see Stacey everyone looked so beautiful, it just made me a little sad for a little while tho, but I know soon she will to get to go back herself. But it did make my night to see everyone so Thank You it means alot that so many care enough to still take time for her and me. So until later please keep the prayers a flowing for us, that he still continues to give us the strength and means to keep helping her. Thank You to all God Bless.